For a while, I strongly considered taking down my I'm Moving to NYC post -- not out of regret or spite or embarrassment because it didn't last, but mostly out of the plain fact that I settled into a small LES apartment for one month before deciding that NYC wasn't where I wanted to be at this moment in my life.
I guess, technically, I still did move to NYC. I came with three suitcases and the intention of finding a full-time job. But it became more of an extended stay after epiphanies during interviews and a lot of tears that I didn't want to commit to any of these companies and in retrospect I felt in general that I was moving away, not moving to.
I'm going to break it down a little bit: I'm no stranger to packing up and starting somewhere new. I did it in high school (twice). I did it in college when I went to Paris for a semester and then Washington DC one year later. I packed up and crossed the Atlantic to settle in France for not one, but two separate years having to make new, separate groups of friends at the start of each Fall. One consistency for me over the course of the past 12 years has been a disruption in consistency - a move, having to find a new group of friends, getting to know a new place or culture.
But for the first time in all of my moves, I felt more than ever that I was moving away from a life than moving to one. I'm a firm believer that places and experiences change a person, and I know Martha's Vineyard took a toll on me. I still believe that it was time for me to move on, but being in NYC has taught me that it's still an important and cherished part of my life that I don't want to give up. In the end, what I thought I hated about feeling isolated on MV has been two-fold in New York. Everywhere in NYC is accessible, but try to travel elsewhere and it will leave you stranded by Greyhound in the depths of Port Authority on multiple occasions. I kid you not.
It took me a little while (and a lot of tears) to admit to myself that after having moved here and starting to plant roots that it wasn't a life that I wanted. On top of that, it took me a long time to convince myself that not wanting to be somewhere isn't failing. It's just realizing what you want and making the necessary changes and having the necessary conversations to do something about it. New York is a fabulous, energetic, fascinating city full of opportunity, and at another point in my life I think I could have really enjoyed it. But it's not where I'm at and I'm confident on where I stand.
I will never argue someone who says that New York City is the best city in the world. It's magical and beautiful, it's disgusting and suffocating, it's full of opportunity, and it's a surefire dream crusher. But that's what makes it unique and what draws people in.
So I re-considered and decided it was best to leave the original post up. After all, this is just a collection of the experiences I've had and the journey I'm on. I don't want to erase these three months in NYC because I learned a lot about myself and what I want out of life. I also had a lot of fun. Let's call it my quarter-life crisis. It's just another documented experience of trying to find out what's best for me at 25 years old. Cheers.
All that said, I'm thrilled and excited to have accepted a job at Creative Office Pavilion in Boston's Seaport District, where I will be strategizing and constructing inbound marketing initiatives for the company. It's another big change in a series of big changes in my life, but I'm all in for this one. Here's to new adventures and a continuing journey.